Knowing is Everything
by Vampire121208
Summary: Tony drives Ziva home after their "Undercovers" mission...not really sure if that counts as somthing spoilery worthy but ye'been warned! R&R! btw this is my FIRST NCIS story so be kind!
1. Chapter 1

**A:N/ This is my first shot at an NCIS fanfic. I hope you can enjoy it! I wrote this after watching "Undercovers"…can you really wonder why this popped into my head?**

**Dis.: I don't own any of these fabulous characters, just the little play that goes on in my mind. **

The not knowing? Yes, she decided that was what she hated the most about the nightmare her life had become. She hated the suffocating feeling of not knowing all the answers. The thumping of her heart whenever she thought of the many possible outcomes to this single afternoon had her more confused than one of Tony's American adages. Tony. How would Tony react to this, to learning the secret she had been holding onto for nearly three months now?

Her clothes were still fitting, this was a good thing. Until she worked up the courage to tell the father then she was going to take some serious precautions. In between the lull of cases she had found herself googling early pregnancy. The irony of the whole situation was that Tony had been sitting across from her and flinging rubber bands so they would get caught in her loose hair.

Every day they saw each other, ate together, and sometimes even drove the other home. But nothing would ruin their friendship more than what Ziva was dying to tell him. She was sure of this.

_They had gotten back from their undercover mission almost two and a half months ago_. After the mandatory counseling session with NCIS's shrink, Tony had so nicely offered to drive her home. Perhaps he himself was confused about their time together in the hotel room, just as she was. The two partners sat in silence in the car ride, each mind filled with guilty memories of false love. Or maybe it wasn't false love, each hoped. Maybe the other had felt the same way as the two lay tangled in sheets.

When the two partners arrived at Ziva's small and simple apartment, he walked her to the front door, trying hard not to remember what her thin body looked like under her cargo pants and tee shirt. Her key slid into the lock with no resistance, just as everything in her life was. Just the way Ziva made it, slick and smooth with little to no problem. Until of course, she met Tony.

With no warning, Ziva turned her door half open as one of her hands clutched the handle tightly. Her other remained free and lax at her side. Not looking up into the admittedly charming eyes of her partner she summoned the courage to ask the most important question she had been dying to ask all night. One of many that is.

"Do you want to come in?" she whispered, internally berating herself for allowing her partner to have this affect on her. What they had done while undercover had no affect whatsoever on their daily lives. That was acting. This was living. But somewhere deep in her mind, she desperately wanted the two to cross.

Swallowing hard, he nodded his head a slow yes and the smile that spread on her face told him all he needed to know and more. This visit to her apartment wasn't just for an after case drink. No. He didn't quite know what she had in mind, but he liked the idea of not knowing.

Once inside, she had shed her comfortable hiking shoes and suggested he do the same. Casually she called over her shoulder if he would like a beer.

"Trying to get me drunk Ziva? Figure if I'm out of it, it'll be easier for you to have your way with me?" He teased, measuring each word just so, making sure that some of the tension between the two was lifted. Relaxing into the couch, Tony surveyed the room and found nothing of great personality. A small TV was located on a bookcase across from where he was sitting, and beside it was a pile of D.. He didn't have to get up to see that the movies Ziva had recently bought. A sneaking suspicion in the back of his mind told him she had been paying closer attention to his movie quotes than he had thought. There were no pictures on the walls, just a small framed photo on the upper most corner of the bookcase. Before he was able to stand and grab a quick look he heard the fridge in the other room shut and the soft padding of her feet enter the room.

The image of her as she reentered the room, carrying two uncapped beers and a long skeleton lighter, was casual and homely. Tony felt his throat thicken as he quickly reinvented the situation. He relished in how natural he felt, imagining that they had just put the kids to bed and the two partners were relaxing on the couch to watch a movie and finish the night with a playful romp in the bedroom.

But this image was shattered when Ziva's accented whisper broke his attention.

"Do you honestly think I would need you drunk in order to have my work with you?" She whispered huskily, sipping her beer and flicking the lighter so a vibrant orange glow emanated. She leant across the coffee table and illuminated the wick of a petite candle. The smell of vanilla filled the room.

"Have your way with me, Ziva. The term is way." He corrected as he sipped his own beer and tried to direct his attention away from her extremely close body.

"Well then. I don't believe I would need any sort of outdoor influences to get you. But that is just me." She told him truthfully, avoiding his eyes once more as she took a larger swig of her beer.

He didn't ignore how hot the room felt. He didn't ignore how amber her skin looked in the light of the candle. He didn't ignore how right she was. She didn't need more than her own self to get him so distracted and hard that it was difficult to think a solid thought. Other than the want to be with her.

"Is that so?" he riddled, gently placing his beer on the coffee table. She swallowed. It was now or never.

"Yes." She whispered, plopping her own beer beside his. A second later, her body was pressed against his and the two faces were inches away. The over whelming need to be with the other was so strong that Tony closed his eyes and blinked them again, making an almost pained grunt as Ziva shifted and straddled his lap. _Dropping her head so their faces were only centimeters apart, the last thing the two said before Tony wrapped his arms around her and carried her warm body to the nearby bedroom was a simultaneous "Hell yes." _

Gibbs paced past her desk, dropping off a tall coffee as he went. Smiling a thank you, she picked up the cardboard cup and brought it to her lips. A little fake sip, a small deceiving gulp and a wide smile was enough to fool the team one more morning.

Or so she thought.

"Ziva? Is there something wrong with your coffee?" Gibbs asked, turning on his computers as he drank his own.

"No sir. Just feeling a little bit under the temperature." She assured him, pressing her hand to her forehead and scrunching her face in the very realistic impression of vomiting. The thing was that she was very used to this expression. She had only been suffering from terrible morning sickness, on her own, for the last three months.

Before Gibbs could say anything, Tony leapt on the ability to correct her. "Under the weather, you mean Ziva? And what's wrong? Do you need a ride to the doctor?" He asked, voice laced with concern.

"No Tony, I am fine." She snapped. His hurt expression made her remorseful of her hormonal instability. "But thank you."

"Are you sure? You look a little pale Ziva. Maybe I should take you anyway…" he said, standing already and sliding his arms into the sleeves of his winter coat.

"Tony I am fine." She growled, staring into his face as she brought the coffee cup to her lips and gulped. A smug smile was plastered on her face as she wheeled her chair out and brushed past Tony.

"So your fine then?" he called, causing her to turn and wave her assurance to him.

"She's fine." Gibbs growled as Tony turned and started for his seat.

"Whatever you say boss…whatever you say." Hanging his coat on the back of his chair he sat and began work on his keyboard, typing out an e-mail to his mother which he had been trying to write for the past hour.

As he struggled over the perfect words, a frightened yelp and a scream tore him from his screen. Panic filled his mind and all he could think was Ziva. He wasn't sure how he knew but he did.

"Tony its Ziva!" McGee panted, running, grabbing the half wall surrounding the bull pen to stop himself from running past DiNozzo's desk. But DiNozzo wasn't there. Instead he was on his way to pushing through a crowd of fellow agents crowded outside the women's bathroom.

"Tony!" Ziva screamed, throat thick with fear and tears.

The sight he saw as he pushed his way into the otherwise empty ladies room broke his heart. Ziva sat curled on the floor, a pinkish-red puddle around her ankles.

"Oh god," he cried, dropping to his knees and pulling her into his arms. Her wet cheeks pressed against his chest and she shuddered as he brushed her hair behind her ear.

"Someone call 911!" He yelled, tears clouding his eyes as Ziva tugged his head down to her face. Pressing her lips to his, both salty with tears, she whimpered "Anthony, I am pregnant."

**TBC**

**A:N/ Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A:N/ Wow 12 reviews already! You guys are awesome, that's for sure. Well, here we go again! Please read and review, they are both equally important. (BTW: at this point, Ziva is three months pregnant…and I know this may seem like a lot of filler *maybe even repeating, but I tried to make this more of a visual story. I'm trying to set up all the scenery before all the drama kicks into high gear.*)**

**Dis.: Don't own but I sure do love watching and writing.**

Secrets were Anthony DiNozzo's life. He spent every day of his job working people out of the corners they had built themselves into with their secrets. Hell, even most of his serious relationships had been secrets. Normally he wouldn't label what he had with Ziva as a relationship, something more along the lines of a sleepover seemed fitting, but not his night with Ziva.

She didn't want this to be the way they admitted whatever they had. She didn't want this to be the place. The women's room floor with all of her co-works staring in, many on their cell phones to dial in the paramedics, was not her ideal image of confessing the many complex feelings she had been filing away for the past year. Apparently, it wasn't Tony's either.

"Shh…it's gonna be okay Ziva. I promise I'm not going anywhere." He choked, petting her hair and simultaneously kissing her sweaty forehead.

"I am not so sure about that Tony." Ziva declared, shaking her head violently in the way of a discouraged woman.

"Hey, hey, don't you say that. Don't ever say that. We'll get you to the hospital and you'll be back into field shape in a couple of days." He promised, hoping his voice wasn't as scared as it sounded to him.

"Coming through, excuse us, coming through!" pardoned two thin men, donning the traditional garb of a medical paramedic. The crowd- now grown to nearly two dozen- split in half, all most like the parting of the red sea in the Bible story of Moses. Leading a gurney into the spacious room, they perfected the measurements so that it was seamless as they lifted Ziva from the floor and tried their best to make the shaking woman comfortable.

"Tony?" Ziva panicked, thrusting her petite arm from the side of the gurney. Behaving this weakly was against everything she had ever been taught. Woman in her childhood world were mothers and wives. She was a lucky that she was a villain. What an example of irony, proud to be a killer.

"Ziva, I promise I'm here." Tony assured, taking a singular wide step to clutch her hand and kiss her knuckles gently.

"Okay Donkey," she whispered, a look of serenity passing over her face before she shut her eyes and her head fell back onto the pillow. Tony felt his chest tighten.

"Is that supposed to happen?" He demanded, never releasing her hand but using his other to grab a fistful of the paramedic's jumpsuit. The young paramedic gulped and shook his head in a feeble yes.

"It most certainly is Anthony," came the calming voice of Dr. Mallard. "They have sedated our dear Ziva in the essence to protect her and the child." The small medical examiner was beside DiNozzo's elbow, Gibbs not far behind. In the middle of all the panic and mayhem, the two senior investigators must have entered the room behind the paramedics.

"Thanks Ducky." Tony sighed, wiping a hand over his tired face. He felt as though he had aged a dozen years in these five or so minutes. He could only hope that when he held both Ziva and his child safely in his arms, this nightmare would be banished and forgotten. How he could only hope.

The office was silent. For the first time in his entire history at the agency, Agent Gibbs had nothing to occupy his mind other than the image of his team members embracing on the floor of the brightly lit bathroom. In the light of that room, the trained eye of Agent Gibbs could see every detail of the horrific truth that lay before him.

Sitting at his desk, cold coffee in front of him, he tested his worst nightmare. Closing his eyes, he could see the limp body of Ziva David, trying to support her body weight by leaning against the stall door closest to the sinks. He could almost once more hear the sniffling and whispers of the two agents. He sure as hell could smell, and what he did made him so sick to his stomach he wanted to vomit.

He could smell the blood.

Riding in the back of a jostling Ambulance was not the Wednesday morning Tony had been expecting. Finding out he was a father for the first time in his life, was also not on his to-do list, surprisingly. Finding his girlfriend/partner curled up in a puddle of blood was definitely not his ideal day. In fact, if he were being forced to name it, he would have to call it his worst nightmare. Times a billion.

Her body looked so small, almost peaceful as she snored lightly on the stark white sheets of the gurney. He remembered her sweet smile when she woke up the morning after their only night together, that is, there only night together that wasn't a total farce as part of their jobs. The night their child was conceived, he knew now. Somehow, that already special night became ten-fold more important to him right then.

For the first time that morning, he was tempted to steal a glance at her stomach. Wasn't she supposed to be showing by now? Would there be a bump? Or perhaps nothing now.

No. There would be something there.

There had to be.

Reaching out a tentative hand, he tugged the light sheet down so that her upper half was uncovered. Indeed a small round stretching of her tee –shirt told him the secret she had been holding.

**A/N: Wanna leave me a review? That would be the best…**


	3. Chapter 3

**A:N/ Thanks a million-and-ten for all the fantastic reviews! I haven't had the chance to sit down and catch my breath, let alone respond, so please don't take offense! This little diddy was actually written on Tuesday night but I've been having some computer problems (argh technology! How we could live without it…yet not.) Anyway, heres my posting for this weekend (I might actually post something later on but I'm not making any promises!)**

**Read and Review ( I hate to beg but if there was anyway to bribe you…I think you've got the gist)**

**Dis.: Don't own the characters or anything related to the show!**

"_We were lucky enough to get you here as soon as we did, Agent David." told his tired looking patient. With this news she reached one hand and placed it on the fast asleep head of her male companion. She stroked his head lightly for a moment before closing her deep brown eyes and falling into a fast slumber. She had not slept for nearly her entire visit. He was thankful to see she was able to finally rest._

_Ziva didn't know for which she was more thankful. For the doctors at Mercy General, she was more than eternally indebted. And of course for Gibbs, who she just recently had found out had been the one who placed the call to emergency. But for Tony? She was so confused on every other aspect of their so called relationship, but what about the fact that he had stayed with her all through the night? That meant so much more to her than a box of chocolates a teddy bear that said "You're so swell! I Just Know you're Gonna get well!"_

It was early Thursday morning when Agent Tony DiNozzo sat upright in the waiting room chair and almost collided with Gibbs, who stood above him, holding a tray of tall hot coffees. He had once again zoned out, trying to dream that this was all a nightmare and when he woke up…it wouldn't be this way at all.

"How is she DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked gruffly, aware of the gray stubble which had begun to form on his face. No one had left the hospital for the past ten hours or so.

When the rest of the team had arrived, besides Abby's hysterics and dark depression after Tim's hug, little had been said among the four.

Abby sat in a corner, with McGee by her side. He held her shoulders in his one arm as she stared blankly at the floor. Tear tracks of dramatic black mascara ran down her cheeks and her normal pigtails hung in sad defeat on either side of her head. McGee himself didn't look any better. His head was slumped forward, resting on the palm of his hand. From any outsider it would have looked as though he was sleeping. But from the insiders who knew him too well, it was obvious that he had shut himself down.

As DiNozzo had once said, "McGee thinks like a computer."

In layman's terms, McGee was restarting himself.

"They haven't said anything since you left Boss." DiNozzo mumbled, taking one of the coffees and sitting back in his seat. He was taking this the worst of all, as only imaginable.

He and Gibbs had been sitting in steely silence for nearly the whole time there, with Gibbs occasionally standing to get coffee or stale desert cakes from the vending machines.

Ducky had called an hour ago, asking about Ziva's condition and whether anyone needed anything. Abby, being Abby, had simply mumbled "Hope, Ducky. We need hope."

This caused Tony to snap violently, "Hope, Abby, really? Hope? You don't think I have any god damned hope? She is dying on that table because of me Abby."

Tim had stepped between the frightened Abby and the fierce Tony, who once he saw what he had done, apologized sourly and shuffled back to his seat, farthest from the young computer wizards.

Gibbs had remained seated through the entire altercation, and only when Tony had sat down once more and his breathing returned to quivering gasps, did he stand and stretch.

"Going to get coffee. I'll be back." Was all he said before pacing off beyond the waiting room.

And that's where they were now.

Gibbs had returned.

Abby was silent.

Tim was restarting.

Tony was beyond scared.

And Ziva…

Was anyone's guess.

**TZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZ**

"Agent Anthony DiNozzo?" came the questioning voice of the main surgeon on an Agent Ziva David. The young man had been badgering the nursing staff for the last ten hours so it was only right that he be informed of the surgery results.

"That's me, Doctor." Said an exhausted looking man in a creased suit shirt and dress pants. He leapt from the chair and strode to the side of the older gentleman dressed in robin's egg scrubs.

"Agent Ziva David is out of surgery and asking for you. She's in room 231."

"Thanks, Doc. Honest, thanks." He sighed as he turned and headed down the long and sterile hospital hallways, searching for the most heavenly number he had ever heard.

**TZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTTZTZTZTTZTZTZTZTZTZTZT**

She'd never been so happy to see DiNozzo in her whole life. When he came striding into the room, worried face and soiled clothes, told her all she needed to know.

He loved her.

Her eyes glazed with tears and he rushed to her side, reaching for her free hand. The one not weighed down by tubes and finger monitors.

"Ziva," he croaked, taking her hand and placing it alongside his stubbly cheek.

"Tony," she sighed, their eyes never losing contact as the two partners realized what everyone else had seen months ago.

They were two stubborn people, madly in love.

TZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZTZ

"What's the deal Doc?" questioned the one all the others called Boss. He had cornered Doctor Tiva against the nurses' station and held out his hand for Ziva David's folder.

"Agent Gibbs, I am not at liberty to share that privileged information with you. I was just on my way to inform the couple. Once I leave the room, I can permit more than one visitor in." He told the older Agent with sincerity in his voice.

"Listen Doc. You don't know the half of what that guy in there has been through today. I do. You know the medical mum-bo-jumbo of all this stuff, yea sure. But trust me. If you don't want a scene down here, at this hour of night, it would be a wise decision. To. Hand. Me. The. File." His steely gaze was intimidating all right, along with the major nerd who stood behind him and the gothic looking creature attached to the geeks side. Both had fire in their eyes.

"You should definitely give him the file." They said in unison, their voices in that tone that people adopt when they seem to tire of repeating directions.

He had no choice, he reasoned, to resist. He had places to go, people to observe and serve. Obviously this group of adults was extremely close. No harm, he thought, in sharing this kind of news from someone your close to.

Or maybe it was all the harm that could be done.

But he didn't have the time to get all Socratic- method on this situation.

Handing the thin manila folder over to the older agent, the middle aged doctor excused himself and walked with a seemingly panicked pace down the dim hospital hallway, past the emergency doors which clicked behind him. Only once he was behind the safety of those two fat pieces of wood did he allow himself to excel the precious breath he didn't even know he had been holding.

Once Gibbs had his hands on the file, he flipped it open and skimmed down the small printed paperwork.

"Damn." Was all he said as he snapped the file shut and started off towards room 231.

As McGee and Abby watched Gibbs stalk off the hallway, until they could see him no more because he had entered room 231, the two wounded souls turned to one another and finally saw the light in their own dim lives.

But they would wait for this whole ordeal to be only a faded memory in the minds of all involved before they showed what they had always secretly known.

Abby and Tim were soul mates, as Abby would have simply pointed out, had they not been standing feet away from a room in which their closest friends sat. Shattered and bruised, but together at last.

Ah yes, the irony of it all. The irony.

**A:N/ Hope you enjoyed! Now I happen to know of a very sad little rectangle that you would just make its day if you were to clicky-click on it and type in a few words of your thoughts on this recent addition! **


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